LOLA AND PULGUITA
The Glorious Pursuit of Educational Martyrdom
In the hallowed halls of Public School District #127, Mrs. Eleanor Worthington adjusted her fifteen-year-old cardigan—the one with leather elbow patches she'd sewn on herself during a weekend "self-care" session that consisted of mending clothes while simultaneously grading 147 essays, planning next week's lessons, and responding to 32 parent emails questioning why their children weren't receiving more individualized attention.
The fluorescent lights flickered above, a morse code of institutional neglect that perfectly matched the arrhythmic dripping from the classroom ceiling. She'd submitted maintenance request #F-7891 about the leak three semesters ago. The bucket she'd placed beneath it had become something of a classroom pet.
"Good morning, future leaders of America," she announced to her class of thirty-eight students sharing twenty-nine desks. "Today we'll be discussing the economic principles of supply and demand, which, coincidentally, explains why you're sitting three to a table while I'm paid approximately $3.50 per hour when you calculate my actual working time."
The school board had recently sent a district-wide email celebrating their generous 1.2% raise for teachers—barely noticeable against the 6.3% inflation rate, but hey, there was a coupon for 10% off at the local office supply store attached. Perfect for the $843 worth of classroom supplies Eleanor would purchase with her own money this year.
"Mrs. W," called out Timothy from the back, "my parents say teachers have it easy because you get summers off."
Eleanor smiled the smile of someone who had spent the previous summer working two jobs while simultaneously completing 60 hours of mandatory professional development, most of which consisted of PowerPoint presentations that could have been emails.
"That's right, Timothy. Three glorious months of unemployment during which I'm expected to further my education at my own expense while planning for the next year. It's practically a Caribbean cruise, minus the Caribbean, the cruise, and any semblance of relaxation."
The morning announcements crackled over the ancient PA system. The principal's voice echoed through the room: "Faculty, please remember that this weekend's mandatory team-building retreat is BYOC—Bring Your Own Chair. Also, due to budget constraints, we'll be implementing our exciting new 'One Ply Toilet Paper Initiative' starting Monday."
Eleanor nodded appreciatively. Innovation at its finest.
During her planning period—which she spent covering another teacher's class because the district couldn't afford substitutes—Eleanor received an email from administration with the subject line: "EXCITING OPPORTUNITY FOR PROFESSIONAL GROWTH!" The body of the email informed teachers they would now be responsible for monitoring the cafeteria during their lunch breaks. The growth opportunity, presumably, was learning to eat a sandwich in under 45 seconds while breaking up a food fight.
At the faculty meeting after school, the superintendent unveiled the district's revolutionary new teaching philosophy: "More With Less: Embracing Educational Austerity as a Character-Building Exercise."
"Studies show," he explained to the room of exhausted educators, "that teacher burnout can be completely avoided if we simply rebrand it as 'passionate exhaustion.' Also, we're cutting the copy paper budget by half, but we've invested in a motivational poster for the break room that says 'You Can't Put a Price on Inspiring Young Minds.'"
A hand rose from the back.
"Yes, Mr. Abernathy?"
"Given that we're now expected to be educators, counselors, social workers, nurses, security guards, and data analysts, will there be any additional compensation?"
The superintendent laughed heartily, as if Mr. Abernathy had just told an especially delightful joke. "We've actually prepared a response to that question." He clicked to the next slide, which simply displayed a stock photo of a sunset with the words "The smiles of children are payment enough" in Comic Sans.
Later that evening, Eleanor sat at her kitchen table surrounded by papers to grade. Her dinner—microwaved leftovers—had gone cold hours ago. Her husband had already gone to bed, leaving a note that read, "Remember we have dinner with my boss tomorrow. Please try not to talk about school the entire time like last month when you explained the intricacies of standardized testing for three hours and my boss's wife fell asleep in her crème brûlée."
Eleanor sighed and opened her laptop to check her bank account. The negative balance glared back at her, a familiar red number that seemed to mock her life choices. She'd have to dip into her retirement fund again—that magical account that, at its current growth rate, would allow her to retire comfortably at the age of 147.
Her phone pinged with a text from a parent: "Tommy says you didn't give him extra credit for the assignment he didn't do. This seems unfair. Also, he'll be missing the next two weeks for a family vacation to Aruba. Please prepare all his assignments in advance and provide daily tutoring via FaceTime at his convenience."
Eleanor took a deep breath and began composing a response that struck the perfect balance between professional courtesy and a silent scream into the void.
The next morning, she arrived at school an hour early to help with the "Voluntary" Breakfast Monitoring Program, which had been carefully explained as "completely optional unless you want your contract renewed."
In the teachers' lounge—a glorified closet with a microwave from the Reagan administration and a couch that had witnessed the evolution of educational policy from "No Child Left Behind" to "Every Child Left to Their Own Devices Because We've Cut All the Support Staff"—Eleanor encountered Mrs. Gladys Peterson, a veteran of forty-three years in the trenches.
"I remember when they respected us," Gladys said, stirring a cup of coffee so weak it was essentially brown-tinted water. "Back in '86, a parent actually brought me an apple once. Granted, it had a worm in it, but the gesture was nice."
"I got an email last night from a parent who said their child deserves an A because they paid property taxes," Eleanor replied.
"Amateur hour," Gladys scoffed. "Wait until you get the ones who threaten to call their congressman because their precious angel got detention for setting the chemistry lab on fire."
The first bell rang, signaling the start of another day in the noble pursuit of educating the next generation with resources that wouldn't adequately support the previous one.
As Eleanor walked to her classroom, she passed the newly renovated administrative wing, complete with state-of-the-art standing desks and an espresso machine that cost more than her annual classroom supply budget. The superintendent waved cheerfully from his office, where he was practicing his putting on a small indoor green.
"Remember, Eleanor," he called out, "teaching isn't just a profession—it's a calling. A calling that, coincidentally, requires a vow of poverty similar to medieval monks, but with less societal respect and more standardized testing."
Eleanor smiled and nodded, clutching her fifteen-year-old cardigan closer. In her bag was a notice from her landlord about another rent increase, a reminder about her student loan payment, and a brochure about "Exciting Career Opportunities in Corporate Training" that she'd picked up at the job fair she'd attended "just out of curiosity."
As she unlocked her classroom door, she noticed a new leak had developed overnight, this one directly above her desk. With practiced efficiency, she placed her coffee mug under the drip and rearranged her lesson plans to avoid the growing puddle.
"Another day in paradise," she murmured, writing the day's objective on the board with a dry-erase marker so depleted she had to press down with the force of all her crushed dreams to make a visible mark.
Outside her window, the school marquee had been updated with the district's latest inspirational message: "Teachers Touch the Future—Because They Certainly Aren't Touching Adequate Compensation."
The second bell rang. Students began filing in, some half-asleep, others vibrating with energy, all of them blissfully unaware that their education was being provided by someone who qualified for food stamps in one of the wealthiest nations on Earth.
Eleanor took a deep breath and smiled. "Good morning, everyone. Today we're going to learn about irony."
At lunch, the faculty gathered around the single functioning microwave, taking turns heating meals in a choreographed dance of efficiency born from years of making do with insufficient resources.
"Did you hear about the new district initiative?" asked Mr. Gonzalez, the science teacher whose lab equipment budget had been repurposed to install a new scoreboard for the football field. "They're calling it 'Wellness Warriors.' We're supposed to practice self-care by writing gratitude journals during our non-existent free time."
"I heard they're cutting our health insurance benefits again," said Ms. Thompson, the art teacher who had been using coffee grounds as a paint substitute since February. "But they're generously offering discounted gym memberships as compensation."
"The superintendent just got another raise," added Mr. Jackson, the history teacher who had been wearing the same tie for so long it had witnessed several historical events firsthand. "Apparently, he needed it to cope with the stress of figuring out how to distribute budget cuts without affecting administrative bonuses."
Eleanor nodded sympathetically while calculating how many more years until her student loans would be forgiven—assuming the forgiveness program wasn't eliminated before then, and assuming she didn't succumb to the sweet release of a career change to literally anything else.
After school, Eleanor attended the mandatory "Innovation in Education" workshop, where a consultant who had never taught a day in his life explained how teachers could revolutionize education by working harder with fewer resources.
"The key," he explained, clicking through slides that cost the district $15,000, "is to leverage synergistic paradigms of student-centered learning modalities while implementing cross-curricular vertical alignment strategies."
Eleanor raised her hand. "Does that come with additional planning time or smaller class sizes?"
The consultant stared at her as if she'd suggested teaching algebra to cats. "No, no. You misunderstand. These are philosophical frameworks that transcend material limitations."
"So... magic?" Eleanor clarified.
"We prefer the term 'educational alchemy,'" the consultant replied smoothly. "Now, who's ready to transform their teaching practice with these seven easy steps that require only an additional twenty hours per week of unpaid labor?"
That evening, as Eleanor sat on her couch surrounded by ungraded papers, her phone pinged with an email from administration: "In celebration of Teacher Appreciation Week, staff may wear jeans on Friday with the purchase of a $5 'Casual Day' pass. All proceeds go toward the superintendent's new motivational speaking side business: 'Educational Leadership: Doing More With Less (Of Other People's Time and Money).'"
Eleanor laughed until she cried, or perhaps cried until she laughed—at a certain point of educational martyrdom, the two became indistinguishable.
Her neighbor, a corporate accountant who worked fewer hours for triple the salary, often asked why she stayed in teaching. "The retirement benefits?" he'd guess, unaware that her pension had been systematically gutted by legislative action.
The truth was both simpler and more complex. Despite everything—the pay that qualified her for government assistance, the working conditions that would violate labor laws in any other profession, the constant demand to sacrifice her well-being on the altar of "doing it for the children"—she stayed because occasionally, just occasionally, a student would have that moment of understanding that made it all worthwhile.
That, and the fact that she was too exhausted to update her resume.
As she finally crawled into bed at midnight, having finished grading only half the papers she'd brought home, her husband mumbled sleepily, "Rough day?"
"The usual," Eleanor replied. "The district announced they're cutting our supply budget again, three parents emailed to complain that their children's grades accurately reflect their effort, and the ceiling in my classroom now has so many leaks it qualifies as a water feature."
"Why do you do it?" he asked, not for the first time.
Eleanor stared at the ceiling, contemplating the question that haunted every teacher who stayed in the profession long enough to ask it of themselves.
"Because someone has to," she finally answered. "And apparently, society has decided that 'someone' should be an underpaid, overworked, perpetually exhausted person who buys their own supplies and gets blamed for every societal problem from economic inequality to poor parenting."
"That's not a very uplifting answer," her husband noted.
"I save my uplifting content for motivational posters in my classroom," Eleanor replied. "I have one that says 'Shoot for the Moon—Even If You Miss, You'll Land Among the Stars.' It's right next to my 'In Case of Active Shooter' emergency procedures and the bucket that catches ceiling water."
The next morning, Eleanor would rise before dawn, put on her professional attire purchased from a thrift store, and return to the classroom. She would teach with passion, mediate conflicts with patience, adapt to technological failures with creativity, and respond to unreasonable demands with grace—all while being paid less than the person who managed the local fast-food restaurant.
And society would continue to call it a "noble profession" rather than address the systematic devaluation of education, because nobility was cheaper than fair compensation, and martyrdom was more economical than professional respect.
As she drifted off to sleep, Eleanor had a dream in which teachers were paid like professional athletes, schools were funded like military contracts, and education was valued as the essential service it was.
It was a beautiful dream, interrupted only by her alarm clock at 5 AM, summoning her back to reality—a reality where the phrase "it's not about the money" was exclusively applied to professions that desperately needed more of it.
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