LOLA AND PULGUITA
A teacher's attempt at sanity through writing
April 19
The Peculiar Faculty of Absurdistan Academy
The fluorescent lights of Absurdistan Academy flickered to life as Principal Touchdown—no one remembered his real name anymore—marched down the hallway with the determined gait of a man about to rush the end zone. Another sweltering Houston morning was already underway, the Texas sun beating down on the school's aging air conditioning system. Another sweltering Houston morning was already underway, the Texas sun beating down on the school's aging air conditioning system. Another sweltering Houston morning was already underway, the Texas sun beating down on the school's aging air conditioning system. His whistle hung around his neck like a talisman, and his clipboard was clutched to his chest as if it contained the secret plays that would win the educational Super Bowl.
April 18
The Overburdened Surface: A Desk's Lament
I remember when I was first assembled. The smooth finish of my surface, unblemished and full of potential. My adjustable legs, ready to rise and fall at a moment's notice, a technological marvel of ergonomic design. I was meant to be the cornerstone of productivity, a platform for creation and efficiency.
April 16
Storm Chasers of Room 203
The sky outside Mrs. Pruneda's second-grade classroom had turned an ominous shade of green-gray. Rain pelted against the windows with such force that it sounded like thousands of tiny pebbles hitting the glass all at once. The lights flickered once, twice, and then steadied, causing a momentary hush to fall over the normally bustling classroom.
April 16
The Whispers in Room 114A
Ms. Gabriela Pruneda—Ms. G to her students—arranged the phonics cards on the small table in Room 114A. The classroom was cramped, half the size of a standard room, split down the middle to create two separate learning spaces. Every inch of wall and shelf space had been meticulously organized with reading materials, writing prompts, and phonics exercises. It was a Monday morning, and her 10:30 dyslexia intervention class would arrive in fifteen minutes.
April 16
The Fifth-Grade Lockdown
A Psychological Thriller
April 16
PRESENT LEVELS OF ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT AND FUNCTIONAL PERFORMANCE (PLAAFP)
Student Name: Jacob Thompson, Jacob Thompson, Jacob Thompson Date of Birth: May 12, 2011, May 12, 2011, May 12, 2011 Grade: 5th, 5th, 5th Case Manager: Ms. Penny Lane, Ms. Penny Lane, Ms. Penny Lane Meeting Date: October 15, 2023, October 15, 2023, October 15, 2023
April 16
The Feline Dominatrix: Confessions of a Calico Queen
By Lola, Resident Feline Overlord
April 16
Ode to Luna: The Flatulent Feline
In the quiet corners of my humble abode, Dwells a creature of legendary proportions, Not in size, but in gaseous episodes, Luna, my polydactyl purring distortion.
April 16
"Carless Whiskers"
Written by Lola (as told to Gaby's cat)
April 16
MEET GABY: THE WORLD'S MOST EXTRAORDINARY CAT MOM™
Warning: This advertisement contains scenes of extreme book hoarding, compulsive Amazon shopping, and coffee consumption that may be too intense for ordinary pet owners.
April 16
An Ode to Gaby's Obliviousness: From the Desk of an Unappreciated Feline Overlord
Oh, for the love of hairballs and catnip! Here I sit, a magnificent four-year-old calico queen, LOLA—yes, that's all caps because I am THAT important—watching another day pass as my so-called "owner" Gaby remains painfully unaware of who truly runs this household.
April 16
PROFESSIONAL RESUME
4-year-old Female Calico Cat of Distinction Current Residence: Under the bed when company arrives
April 16
The Audacity of Amazon Prime: A Feline's Manifesto Against Human Shopping Addiction
By Lola, Calico Queen of the Household (and severely neglected family member)
April 16
April 15
The Glorious Pursuit of Educational Martyrdom
In the hallowed halls of Public School District #127, Mrs. Eleanor Worthington adjusted her fifteen-year-old cardigan—the one with leather elbow patches she'd sewn on herself during a weekend "self-care" session that consisted of mending clothes while simultaneously grading 147 essays, planning next week's lessons, and responding to 32 parent emails questioning why their children weren't receiving more individualized attention.